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Makestraightpaths.com examines the teachings of the religious
group variously known as “the Family,” “The Family International,” the “Children
of God,” or the “Family of Love,” and evaluates these teachings from a Christian
perspective. This page is one in a series on the 'Law of Love' and the Family's
sexual beliefs.
The Law
of Love in the Epistles
The Family believes that
the 'Law of Love' as outlines in the Bible allows them to indulge in
activities which the Bible otherwise describes as sin. Although the Old Testament law clearly condemns sex outside of marriage,
the Family believes that Jesus came to bring a new law, the Law of Love,
which may be paraphrased as 'Whatever is done in love is lawful in the
sight of God.' Therefore, according to the Family, sex outside of
marriage is not sin, as long as it is done in love.
This web page examines the passages in the New Testament
epistles that mention the 'Law of Love' and several other relevant
passages to
see if they may be used to justify the Family's sexual
beliefs.
The passages referring to
the Law of Love in the Gospels are examined
here.
All the law is
fulfilled
Gal 5:13-14
13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your
freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve
one another. 14 For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the
statement, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF."
NASU
Christian freedom in the
book of Galatians is
examined in detail here and
there is a study on Galatians chapter five
here, so duplication is
not necessary. Following are some excerpts from those pages:
There is no suggestion in Galatians that freedom means ‘freedom to do
what you want’ or ‘freedom to indulge in any kind of behaviour’ or
‘freedom from rules.’ Freedom is the freedom to come to God by faith,
unhindered by the knowledge that we are unable to conform to the Law. It
is the freedom to accept Christ’s sacrifice on the cross by faith and in
so doing receive His mercy.
Paul never declares that believers are now allowed to
do the things that the Law said were sin. On the contrary, he expects
exemplary behaviour from believers, and often defines that behaviour in
terms of the moral requirements of the Law.
The Bible does
not grant license to act as one pleases without accountability. Christ’s
death did not legitimise sinful behaviour, rather, through the
indwelling Holy Spirit, He gave believers the power to become righteous
before God.
In particular,
Christian freedom most certainly does not include the sexual freedom as
claimed by the Family. In fact, in the same document that proclaims
Christian liberty (Galatians), Paul specifies that this freedom does not
include the taking of sexual liberties (Gal 5:19).
The freedom Paul
preached in Galatians is the freedom to do God’s will, unhindered by
sin. Christian freedom is not licentious liberty or anarchic abandonment
of all behavioural standards; it is empowerment by the Holy Spirit to
act in the way God originally intended.
Galatians chapter five may not be taken as justification for the
Family's sexual doctrines. In fact, the chapter specifically warns
believers not to indulge in sex as their application of the freedom they
have in Christ. The passage is very clear. Christian
“love”
and
“freedom” do not apply to sexual conduct outside
of marriage.
(For the
detailed biblical exegesis, please read
Christian
Freedom and Galatians Five)
Owe no man
Rom 13:8 Owe nothing to
anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has
fulfilled the law. NASU
The Family interprets
this verse to mean that if one shows love to another person, then he or
she has kept all the law that is necessary to keep. Therefore, as long
as one shows love, anything they do is lawful in the sight of God. In
particular, if one shows love then, according to the Family, one may
indulge in extra-marital sex, without fear of condemnation by God.
However, the passage that
contains this verse tells a different story.
Rom 13:7-10
7 Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to
whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.
8 Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves
his neighbor has fulfilled the law. 9 For this, "YOU SHALL NOT
COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU
SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is
summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS
YOURSELF." 10 Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is
the fulfillment of the law.
NASU
In verse seven, Paul
tells his readers to be sure that they pay all their debts, whether
financial, traditional or in honouring those in positions of authority,
and then in verse eight he uses the "pay your debts" theme as a
transition into his message on love.
"Don't owe anything to
anyone," he says, "except for love." Love, in Paul's view is an
obligation that believers have, not only to each other but to
unbelievers as well. If Christians do not love, then they are
spiritually in debt and need to take steps to rectify the situation.
There is no choice in the matter - believers are required to love, and
just as non-payment of taxes automatically means financial debt, so
failure to love automatically means spiritual debt.
Paul says that "he who
loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law." The Greek word 'fulfilled' in
this context means "to carry into effect, bring to realization, realize;
of matters of duty, to perform, execute" (Thayer's Greek Lexicon,
NT:4137). It does not mean replaced or negated. In other
words, Paul is pointing out that if one obeys the Law then one must
love others, for everything that is in the Law is an expression of
love. He is not saying that if Christians love each other then
they do not have to bother with the Law.
Paul quotes four of the
ten commandments (found in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5), and links them
to the Mosaic command to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Lev 19:18).
His point is that people show love to others by obeying these (and the
other) commandments. He does not say that if people show love then they
may break the commandments but rather that if they truly show
love then they will keep them, and if they truly keep the
commandments they will love.
The commandment quoted
here that is most relevant for the Family is, "You shall not commit
adultery." In direct contrast to Family teaching, Paul said that true
love does not engage in extra-marital sex. Sex outside of
marriage can never be an expression of love. In fact, just a
couple of verses later, Paul reinforces this very point:
Rom 13:13-14
13 Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and
drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife
and jealousy. 14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no
provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
NASU
Behaving "properly" means
refraining from "carousing" (drunken parties), drunkenness, and it means
abstaining from "sexual promiscuity and sensuality" ("illicit
intercourse" and "excess, licentiousness, absence of restraint,
indecency, wantonness" - from Vine's Expository Dictionary of Biblical
Words).
Romans 13:8 does not
give permission for believers to deliberately break the Mosaic
commandments against adultery and fornication, as long as they have
enough love. Actually, this verse says that the way that believers love
each other is through obedience to those commandments.
Love covers a multitude of sins
1
Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another,
because love covers a multitude of sins. NASU
1
Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent love for one another,
for "love will cover a multitude of sins." NKJV
Peter quotes here from
the book of Proverbs:
Prov 10:12 Hatred
stirs up strife,
But love covers all transgressions. NASU
The Family often
interprets this verse to mean that as the most important thing is love,
the Old Testament rules and regulations against sex outside of marriage do not apply. However, Peter,
the author of this epistle, certainly did not mean that enough love
could justify breaking the commandments. In fact, he begins this chapter
by cautioning his readers not to engage in lustful activities:
1 Peter 4:1-2
Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves
also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh
has ceased from sin, 2 so as to live the rest of the time in the
flesh no longer for the lusts of men, but for the will of God.
NASU
Believers identify with
Christ and so "cease from sin." They no longer live their lives
according to "the lusts of men" but now they live "for the will of God."
Peter then gives some examples of what behaviour is no longer
acceptable:
1 Peter 4:3 For the
time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the
desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality,
lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable
idolatries. NASU
The word "sensuality"
means "unbridled lust, excess, licentiousness, lasciviousness,
wantonness, outrageousness, shamelessness, insolence" (Vine's Expository
Dictionary of Biblical Words) and "lust" means "desire for what is
forbidden" (Thayer's Greek Lexicon).
Peter tells his readers
to control themselves.
1 Peter 4:7 The end
of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled
so that you can pray. NIV
Believers are told to control
their lusts so that they may then be free to love each other with
fervent love. They are not given license to indulge in sexual
activities.
Bear one another’s burdens
Gal 6:2 Bear one
another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. NASU
One of the ways that the
Family applies this verse relates to their sexual beliefs. The founder
of the Family (Berg/Dad) taught that people have various needs that need
to be filled, such as the need for food and shelter. He also taught that
people have a need for sex. Therefore, according to him,
providing sex to another person was one way of "bearing his/her
burdens." Paul, of course, is not talking about sex in this verse, but
more importantly, just a few verses earlier he specifically listed
extra-marital sex as one of the "deeds of the flesh" as opposed to the
"fruits of the spirit."
Gal 5:19-24
19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality,
impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred,
discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions,
factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you,
as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the
kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who
belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its
passions and desires.
NIV
Sex cannot be described
as a legitimate "burden" that Christians may help each other "bear,"
because sex outside of marriage is an "act of the sinful nature," typical
of people who are not part of God's kingdom. By contrast, Christians
should live in such a way that their lives are filled with the fruit of
the Holy Spirit. When it comes to sexual urges, one relevant "fruit" is
"self-control." In other words, when the Holy Spirit is truly present
within a believer, he or she will have divine help to control his or her
sexual urges as well as any other sinful tendencies he or she might
have.
Regarding Berg/Dad's theory that sex is an essential
human need, it may be superfluous to point out that there will be few
people who agree with him. Some people may have strong sex drives, but
designating this as a "need" certainly exaggerates human physiology.
These things happened as examples
In 1 Corinthians chapter ten, Paul admonishes his readers
by referring them to the Old Testament story of Israel's exodus. The
Corinthians were to learn from what happened by applying the lessons
directly to their own lives.
1 Cor 10:6 Now these things happened as examples for
us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved. NASU
They were not to be idolaters (vs.7), and they were not
to indulge in sexual immorality.
1 Cor 10:8 We should not commit sexual immorality, as
some of them did — and in one day twenty-three thousand of them
died. NIV
Paul reiterates the personal applicability of these
stories.
1 Cor 10:11 Now these things happened to them as an
example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the
ends of the ages have come. NASU
He warns that anyone might fall prey to these sins.
1 Cor 10:12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands
take heed that he does not fall. NASU
And then says that no matter how strong the temptation,
God is able to assist the believer to resist.
1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such
as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to
be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will
provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure
it. NASU
In short, Paul tells the Corinthians very clearly to
avoid extra-marital sex and that God can help them to obey this
directive.
Be imitators of God
In Ephesians, Paul urges his readers to imitate God.
Eph 5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved
children NASU
They were to do this by walking in love.
Eph 5:2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved
you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God
as a fragrant aroma. NASU
And by avoiding all kinds of sexual immorality.
Eph 5:3-4
3 But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named
among you, as is proper among saints; 4 and there must be no
filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting,
but rather giving of thanks.
NASU
In fact, Paul says that people whose lives are
characterised by sexual sin show that they are not part of God's
kingdom.
Eph 5:5 For this you know with certainty, that no
immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an
inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. NASU
Believers are never to participate in such sin but rather
they are to expose the people who are doing it.
Eph 5:6-11
6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these
things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7
Therefore do not be partakers with them; 8 for you were formerly
darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of
Light 9 (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and
righteousness and truth), 10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the
Lord. 11 Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but
instead even expose them;
NASU
There can be no place for extra-marital sex in the life
of a true believer.
Conclusion
The New Testament
places considerable emphasis upon the importance of love between
believers, but at no point does it allow for the possibility of a sexual
application of the 'Law of Love.' Instead, the authors of the epistles
actually make it clear that one of the ways that believers are to
demonstrate their love for each other and for God is by maintaining
sexual purity. In other words, the Family's extra-marital sexual
practices are by definition contrary to Christ's Law of Love;
they prove that the Family is not acting in love at all.
Christians are under
obligation to love each other; they are actually required to do so, in
light of God's gift of salvation to them, but this love must be
expressed in the way that God has defined. Believers do not have the
freedom to act contrary to God's will under the excuse that their
actions or motives are loving.
Family members believe
that extra-marital sex is legitimate in the sight of God because this is
what they have been taught. However, the Bible teaches the direct
opposite: not only is sex outside of marriage a sin, but Christians have
extra power through the indwelling Holy Spirit to keep themselves away
from this sin. The Family has never produced a Bible class to
support their position effectively and never will, simply because their
position is contrary to the plain meaning of the Scriptures.
See also
Galatians Five
The Law of Love in the Gospels
Definitions
Jesus on adultery
Judging on the Basis of Love
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