Makestraightpaths.com examines the teachings of the religious group variously known as “the Family,” “The Family International,” the “Children of God,” or the “Family of Love,” and evaluates these teachings from a Christian perspective. This page is one in a series on the 'Law of Love' and the Family's sexual beliefs.

The Law of Love in the Gospels

The Family believes that the 'Law of Love' as outlines in the Bible allows them to indulge in activities which the Bible otherwise describes as sin. Specifically, although the Old Testament law clearly condemns sex outside of marriage, the Family believes that Jesus came to bring a new law, the Law of Love, which may be paraphrased as 'Whatever is done in love is lawful in the sight of God.' Therefore, according to the Family, sex outside of marriage is no longer a sin, as long as it is done in love.

Family teaching is that one of the reasons Jesus came to earth was in order to institute the Law of Love. Therefore, the first place to look for confirmation of the Family's doctrine would be in the words of Jesus himself, as recorded in the Gospels. This web page examines two passages where Jesus talked about the 'Law of Love,' to see if the Family's interpretation is possible.

The passages referring to the Law of Love in the epistles are examined here.

The two great commandments

Matt 22:34-40
34 But when the Pharisees heard that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered themselves together. 35 One of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, 36 "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" 37 And He said to him, " 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' 38 "This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' 40 "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."
NASU

See also Luke 10:25-29 and Mark 12:28-34.

The founder of the Family (Berg/Dad) taught that when Jesus said that the whole law and the prophets depends on the two commandments to love God and to love one's neighbour, he meant that the entire Mosaic Law is to be replaced by these two commandments to love. Therefore, according to Berg/Dad, the Mosaic Law is now irrelevant; all that matters is whether or not we have love. Further, if something is done in love, it does not matter if that action breaks an Old Testament law, for all that God looks at now is the law of love. Therefore, Christians may indulge in extra-marital sex, as long as it is conducted in love.

The essence of Berg/Dad's argument is that the Mosaic Law (which specifically prohibited extra-marital sex) is replaced by the Law of Love (love God and love your neighbour) for those who are true believers. However, Jesus did not say anything like that in this passage.

First, note Jesus' audience. They were Pharisees who were testing him, after the Sadducees' failure. The man who asked him the question was a lawyer. In the parallel passage recorded in Mark, the lawyer responds to Jesus' words by affirming and agreeing with Jesus' answer, whereupon Jesus tells him, "You are not far from the kingdom of God" (Mark 28:34). On this occasion, Jesus was not speaking to his disciples privately, giving them instructions that applied only to believers as he did on other occasions. Instead, he was speaking to a mixed audience consisting of disciples, curious onlookers and antagonistic enemies. Therefore, as Jesus was not speaking only to believers, his words cannot mean that believers have a different set of rules or guidelines from unbelievers. Berg/Dad, however, taught that the sexual aspects of the Law of Love only  apply to believers.

Second, note that in this passage, Jesus is not putting forward anything new. He was asked which were the most important commandments in the Mosaic Law, and he replied by quoting two brief passages from the Law. The first is a direct quote from Deuteronomy.

Deut 6:5 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. NASU

The second is from Leviticus.

Lev 19:18 'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord. NASU

Therefore, it is incorrect to say that Jesus was instituting something new. Rather, he told his listeners that these two commandments were the heart of the Law. They are the foundation around which the whole Law revolves. They were already there, written into the Law, and Jesus said that the Law itself was designed so that people could live out their love for God and for their fellowman. Jesus said that the Mosaic Law was already a 'Law of Love.' Therefore it is incorrect to imply that Jesus' 'Law of Love' is completely different from the Mosaic Law.

Third, note Jesus' use of the word 'depend' in verse 40: "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." The Greek word literally means 'hang,' and it is usually used to literally mean 'hang,' as in "a heavy millstone hung around his neck" (Matt 18:6), or Jesus died "hanging on a cross" (Acts 5:30). The NIV, NKJV and KJV all use the word 'hang.' The NASB, RSV and NET use its figurative meaning 'depend.' The word does not mean 'replace.' Jesus said that the Mosaic Law, and all that Israel had been commanded to do meant that Israel was to love God and love their neighbours. Therefore it is incorrect to imply that the commandments to love somehow negate everything else in the Old Testament. Rather, all that is in the Old Testament explicitly commands God's people to love him and love others. Jesus reinforced those teachings.

Fourth, although it should not be necessary to mention it, there is no sexual connotations in Jesus' words. It is incorrect to use these Old Testament verses to justify adultery and fornication when Jesus does not do so.

Fifth, note that immediately after this Jesus told the crowds of people who were listening that they should obey the Pharisees' teaching about the Mosaic Law. The people were not to imitate their actions because those actions were not governed by love, but they were to put into practice the teaching they received, because that teaching was based upon love.

Matt 23:1-3
Then Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, 2 saying: "The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; 3 therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them.
NASU

Therefore, it is incorrect to say that Jesus was speaking against the Mosaic Law. In fact on this occasion, he strongly affirmed it. Jesus' issue was not with the Law itself; rather he taught that the purpose and design of the Law was for people to love God and each other, and he strongly rejected the hypocritical actions of the scribes and Pharisees, who obeyed some of the details of the Law but showed by their actions that they neither loved God nor their neighbours.

Contrary to Family teaching, this passage does not justify breaking the Old Testament commandments against extra-marital sex. Actually, Jesus said that it was by obeying those commandments that one truly showed one's love for God and for each other. Although people who obeyed the commandments without love were condemned, Jesus did not say that the solution was to abandon the commandments. Instead, he said they had to return to the heart of the Law, which was love.

A new commandment

John 13:34-35
34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
NASU

The Family believes that these verses mean that (1) Jesus instituted a new 'Law' (2) The only commandment in this new Law is to love (3) Anything that is done in love is justifiable before God, even if it was prohibited by the Mosaic Law and therefore (4) Extra-marital sex is no longer prohibited. However, it may be shown that all four of these points are based on faulty reasoning.

First, the commandment to love one another was not new. As noted above, the Mosaic Law commanded the Jews to love their neighbours (Lev 19:18). The new thing was the way in which they were to put this love into action, by imitating Jesus' own love for his disciples. The NET Bible has a relevant footnote at this point:

The idea that love is a commandment is interesting. In the OT the ten commandments have a setting in the covenant between God and Israel at Sinai; they were the stipulations that Israel had to observe if the nation were to be God’s chosen people. In speaking of love as the new commandment for those whom Jesus had chosen as his own (John 13:1, 15:16) and as a mark by which they could be distinguished from others (13:35), John shows that he is thinking of this scene in covenant terminology. But note that the disciples are to love “Just as I have loved you” (13:34). The love Jesus has for his followers cannot be duplicated by them in one sense, because it effects their salvation, since he lays down his life for them: It is an act of love that gives life to people. But in another sense, they can follow his example (recall to the end, 13:1; also 1 John 3:16, 4:16 and the interpretation of Jesus’ washing of the disciples’ feet). In this way Jesus’ disciples are to love one another: They are to follow his example of sacrificial service to one another, to death if necessary. (NET Bible, footnote to John 13:34).

Jesus repeatedly commanded his disciples to love each other:

John 15:12-13 "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. NASU

Again, Jesus stressed that the manner in which they were to love was the way that Jesus loved them, in total sacrificial service.

Second, Jesus did not say that the only thing he expected of his followers was love. Love for God and each other was to be the motivation for all their actions, but he also gave many specific instructions that he expected his disciples to follow. They were to give to the poor, practice non-violence, refrain from lust, forsake all to follow him, forgive and ask forgiveness, be kind to children, abide in Christ, refrain from judging people, be kind to enemies, be kind to anyone in need, and so on. All these things are expressions of love for God and each other, but Jesus did not leave them to love each other as best as they could. He said to follow the Bible precepts in love, to obey him out of love, to be kind to others out of love. In other words, the Bible already told people what to do, and it even already told them to do it out of love. Jesus stressed this love-motivation but did not say that 'love' replaced everything else that was written.

Third, Jesus never said that the Mosaic Law could be broken. In fact, he warned that anyone who teaches that the commandments of the Law may be broken will be "the least in the kingdom of heaven" (Matt 5:19).

Fourth, it is gross misrepresentation of the scripture to imply that Jesus intended any sexual application of his words in this passage. Jesus was speaking to the eleven remaining disciples, Judas Iscariot having already departed. Jesus told his disciples - all male - to love each other as he himself loved them. Jesus would love them by dying for them, and he wanted them to love each other by giving themselves in sacrificial service.

Conclusion

Jesus showed his followers that God wanted them to love each other, but the concept of love was far from new. Love was written into the Mosaic Law, and love was its motivation from the beginning. Jesus stressed the importance of his followers loving each other with the same self-sacrificial love that he himself displayed, even to the death if necessary.

The Family's teachings that this 'Law of Love' may be applied to sexual interaction outside of marriage are wholly unjustified.

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